A few months ago, I thought I was in an okay place. I had a good group a friends, my guys and my boo. Work isn't all that great, but I know it's secure and it pays the rent. Plus it helps that my co-workers are amazing, and laugh at my immaturity instead of criticizing me to be more 'professional' and 'mature'.
My boo started being quiet, which isn't all that unusual, because she goes through these 'moods'. Which is another reason why I would often refer to her as my wife: I got the silent treatment quite often. Sometimes I didn't know why; I didn't know if it was because of me, or if she was feeling depressed for another reason. I never pushed her too much on it, I just let her work her way through it, it's how she preferred it.
We went to the bar with one of her co-workers to watch a hockey game. It seemed like a pretty good time, everything seemed pretty normal for the most part. I went up to go to the bathroom at one point somewhat early in the night and two guys started talking to me, eventually getting to the question of whether they could sit with us. I said I would have to think about it, and get back to them. When I went back to the table, boo immediately said no, she didn't even bother to look over at them. But, as always, I didn't push it. She never really wanted to hang out with guys, yet she was always complaining that she didn't have a boyfriend. The night went on as usual, and as we were leaving, another guy came up to me and started talking, and asked for my number. Boo said, "I'll wait outside", and off she went. I just started after her for a few seconds, apologized to the guy, and went off in search of her. When I met up with her outside, she didn't even look at me. We walked to the skytrain in silence, got on and rode in complete silence. She was talking to her co-worker, I was listening to my iPod. We got on the bus, sat across from each other. When we got to her stop, she looked at me, said, "Bye!", and she got off.
Those were the last words she said to me in person. We got on the bus together in the morning, rode the bus home together after work, but never said anything. Eventually, I stopped waiting for her and just went. Or maybe she stopped waiting for me.
Two weeks later I contacted her, asking her what I did to offend her so deeply, and whatever it was, I'm sorry.
"I have nothing to talk about with you and listening to you all the time drove me insane. You don't need me."
And that's its. Our eight year friendship is over. My best friend is gone. I still don't even know what I did wrong, no one understands. I just wish I knew what I did that was so wrong. We all talked about our jobs, our lives, we just sat around and talked over drinks and food. Some people think it's because of the guys flirting with me, because no one ever goes up to her. But I don't want to think that, I just can't believe that. Why would she end our friendship over that? We did everything together.
Right when I thought that I was in a good spot with friends, and ready to actually consider some type of other relationship, this happened. It put a set back, for sure.
I recently got in contact again with a mutual friend of ours. I asked her to be a double agent for me. I just want to know if she's okay. She was going through a lot of stuff, and even though she hurt me, I just want to know that she's happy.
Tune back in for a post of my trip to see my cousin in the country. And my experience with a gun! Pictures included.
