The Sound of Silence

When I started hanging out with Hermy, a lot of people thought that we were going to date. We had both been through a lot with N, we understood what the other one went through. Then I started hanging out with Pilot a lot as well. We both have stomach problems, so we understand each other on that front. But nothing has ever happened, with either of them, and there have been many times where it could have happened.

Pilot and I do our thing, we go out for dinners, grocery shopping, or just lay on my couch all night watching TV.

Hermy and I tend to get drunk. A friend of mine is amazed that we haven't fooled around with each other while drunk. When the two of us are drunk together, we definitely need adult supervision, which is usually Pilot. But nothing sexual ever happens.

Last night we didn't have adult supervision and we got drunk. He shouldn't have even been driving. But for some reason he was. When I get drunk I don't even think of it, which is absolutely horrible. But only if I'm with one of them, which does not make it right in any way, but still. I don't know.

We ended back at his house, and I was totally prepared to sleep on the couch. Then he started going on about how I just had to watch The Patriot, or at least the 'bad ass' part, so I told him I was going to steal his bed if he put it on. I don't know how it happened, but we ended up watching it in his bed. Thankfully not all of it, only some part where Mel Gibson kills someone and he's covered in blood. Honestly, creeped me out. But now I totally want to watch the movie.

Waking up beside him wasn't weird either which was a total plus. I'm glad that we didn't fool around, and I have faith in us that we won't have some drunken mistake that makes things awkward.

But I do think about him, about if we would work. He's such an amazing guy, I don't know how he's single. Any girl would be lucky to have him. I don't know what I'm going to do when he goes to Europe.

I Belong To You

After having a weekend of fun and shenanigans, I call up my Visa to see where my balance stands at. I listen to the automated voice tell me what it is, and I just start shaking. My hands are having a little bit of problems writing down all the figures that the voice is telling me, but I continue to do it. After it's over, I sit back. When will I learn that it's time to stop going out and spending all my money, and start saving.

I'm supposed to be going to San Francisco in September. My friend doesn't have a credit card, so it all has to go onto mine. I need to bring my limit down low enough so that I can do it. That shouldn't be a problem, $57 a pay cheque in order to do so, and I already put at least that amount on there. But what I need to do is stop spending the money.

I've done pretty well this year so far, except for this weekend when my friend and I decided to do a pub crawl in Whistler. Different bar for every period of the hockey game.

I love having my friends, but oh boy does it cost money sometimes.

As much as I do love them and going out, sometimes I wish that I didn't... That I could just go back to rarely going out and spending money. What I have cut down in coffee and eating out, I'm spending on nights out with them.

I'm young, I want to have fun... But I don't know if my stomach and my bank account can keep up with the beers.