I think about the past too much. I'm constantly thinking about all the stuff I've done, the people I've hurt and left behind, the ones I wish that I could get back.
Some of the people I've lost has been for the best. With some, we just grew up. Others hurt me so much to let go, I didn't think I'd ever get over it.
I dropped a friend recently. I think about her sometimes, but not nearly as much as I thought I would. I thought it would be so hard to not have her in my life. I was addicted to her, even though she treated me horribly. But it wasn't. I had just finally opened my eyes and realized that I deserve so much better than this.
And I do. I have great friends that remind me that every day. I have friends that treat me with respect and don't ditch me last minute. They go out of their way to see me, to make sure I'm happy. I have the bestest friend anyone could ask for, we complete each other, me and her. We see each other day and feel like something is missing if we don't. Hell, we live two blocks away from each other, work three blocks away from each other.
My boys are amazing. We talk every day, and they don't expect anything but friendship. It's so nice and refreshing.
But every once in a while, I'll think of one person that I lost. I lost him years ago, we clung to each other for awhile, but eventually he moved on, left me behind in his past.
When I think of him, a tear will escape, roll down my cheek before I can catch it. A song will come on, I'll think of our past, of what we had and shared.
I can't help but wonder if he ever thinks of me.
We made such stupid promises.
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