I am filled with so much emotion lately. There are emotions running wild throughout my body, some getting out, some me pushing back it. Sometimes I don't know which ones to attempt to push back in.
The situation with the boy is going well for me, but is it really? I'm always so confused when it comes to relationships, I never want to be the person who is more in than the other. I feel like that may be the case here. He has a kid and a lot of crap going on with the ex, he has told me that he's scared of commitment, has trust issues, won't be uttering 'those three words to a girl anytime soon'... Sometimes I'm surprised he's in a relationship with me at all despite all these things. What made him decide to actually put the label on it? I wonder if it was the fact that I told him that I wouldn't have sex with someone that I wasn't in a relationship with... When I'm with him, I feel secure. We laugh and have a great time, I usually end up spending the entire weekend at his house, and he'll sometimes come and spend the night at mine during the week.
But I still do have some insecurities. I usually never think I'm good enough for someone. He's much more 'experienced' than I am, which makes me fear that he'll get bored of me. He wants me to get out of my shell, quite being so shy. And I am really trying, which he acknowledges and appreciates, says he's proud of me. When he looks at me, I melt. He's gorgeous, funny, caring, smart, all the things I want in a guy. I could see myself falling for him. I just don't know if he could fall for me.
He seems a bit like a runner.
I wonder who's going to run first.
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