I Will Wait

I seem to be having a lot of anxiety lately, and I think it's all due to my relationship.

My mind wanders a lot, and it usually tends to go to thinking about my relationship, probably because I'm quite shocked that I'm still in one. For a while in the beginning, I thought that it was just going to be a summer fling. But soon enough, I fell into a rhythm with him, and then we were saying those three little words. I've met his entire family, all of his friends, I seem pretty well liked. Even his son seems to be fond of me.

But there's just a little part of me that always worries that I'm not enough. Now, it's not a "oh, woes me, I suck and he's so amazing!" But more of a "our lives are so different, how can I ever be as outgoing as he is?"

Because that's just it. He is so outgoing, and I've been in this comfy little bubble for so many years. He's done everything, whereas I've done nothing. I think what is most intimidating is the sex, because he's done everything, everywhere, nothing is new to him. Then there is me, and I've done basically nothing.

All things considered, I know that I do just need to open up more, be more trusting. And I know that I can, I've already done so much.
But, I'm just scared that he's going to leave before I can actually do that. I think I may just be scared that he's going to leave, just when I've let myself open up for love again.

Love is scary.