Forget You

As my relationship goes on, and we become more serious and get to know each other better, I just keep finding myself more in love. It's only been four months, but I'm usually gone by this point. I still get butterflies when he looks at me. I feel like I am the prettiest girl in the world when he's holding me and looking into my eyes. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have found him, something that I make sure to tell him.

I have a feeling he has low self-esteem. During Thanksgiving, on the way back home from his cabin, I told him how I thought that he might just be a summer fling, that it would never get serious, and that I was a little amazed as to how things turned out. He looked at me, confused, asking why I would think that. I just said, "Look at you. You're gorgeous. I thought that you would just turn out to be a player, but I went along with it because, well, you're so sexy." He was so confused, telling me no, no, no, he wasn't that good looking, or at least he didn't think so.

I look at him, and could just get lost. I have at times. When he's laying with his head on my chest, I look down, kiss him on the forehead and think, "Wow. He's mine."

But the worst part of it is, I spend every weekend with him. Every. Single. Weekend. Even the weekends when he has his son, I'm right there with them. Been that way for probably close to three months. I love every minute of it, even if we're just laying around doing nothing, which we did for a good portion this weekend. I hang out with him, his friends, his family, his son, and have a great time. And I have no desire to hang out with my friends. I enjoy him and his friends more than I do my friends, I think mainly because when I first started dating him, my friends basically ignored me. They didn't invite me out anymore. We still texted, but I never saw them. As I complained to my boyfriend about it, he said, "Whatever, you can share my friends. They're better, and they don't want to have sex with you." I started getting worried that maybe he was right, maybe some of my friends harbored some secret feelings for me, and that's why they stopped talking to me.

Now, my friends are inviting me out places, but I just don't want to go. I think it's more fun and exciting to hang out and watch kid shows and have pillow fights than to go downtown and get hammered, with no idea of how I'm getting home because we missed the last sky train.

But does that make me a bad friend?