Absolutely Zero

The sex totally had to stop. I kept having sex with L. Oh, L. Actually, no, it shouldn't be "Oh, L", it should be, "Oh, N, why did you have to go and date B, which leads to me hanging out with L every time I hang out with you, which in lead turns to me spending the night with L and waking up naked in his bed".
That sounds a little bit better.

Once I started having sex with L a lot, I had to stop with the ex. It felt a little weird. At first I felt like a playa, which was totally fun, but then it just felt a bit wrong. Especially since I could tell that J was acting a little funny.

On August 31st, I went upstairs to my landlords and gave our notice. She was totally sad, because we get along really well. We can just talk for hours about everything, and then I realize that my dinner has probably gotten cold, and I can tell J is mad because he won't stop texting me, or she will realize that she still hasn't fed the dogs and they keep looking up at her with evil looks that just say, "Feed me or something will die".

On September 2nd, while I'm at L's house, J decides to text me saying the he can't live without me, he loves me and he's so lonely without me, and to please take him back. I told him we would discuss it the next day when I got home.

On September 3rd, when I got home, he started crying, saying everything he said the night before through text.

Now, I don't know how other people would deal with this situation, but when I was thrust into it, I did the only thing I could think of: cave. That's right. I pussied out, and we started dating again. I didn't think of my feelings for L, or of my love for being single, or of my excitement to be moving out with my friend and having new adventures with her. I just looked at the guy that I loved, and caved, because I wanted to make him happy.

On September 13th, we broke up. I held my ground this time, didn't let his tears get to me, and told him that I just couldn't get back into it. Around a month ago, I tried to get back to him, I opened up and reached out to him, and he turned me down, saying that he was done, and there was no chance of ever getting back together.

Which is where L really came in, because I was over it. He told me it was over forever, I treated it as much. Doesn't take me long to move on when you put it that simply. What's the point in crying and mourning over it when it's never going to happen? Move on. I'm just wasting time.

Anyways, N is trying to set me and L up now. Fuck that noise. I'm single. Sure, I want cuddles, sex, and the general good time that we have together. But relationship? I'm done for now. They just cause confusion and heartache, and I've had my fair share for now.

Plus, I need to get my shit together. I'm in no position to date.