What Makes A Man

I moved out of my house with J last night. Well, not so much moved, I just moved my clothes. And mostly just my work clothes. Not everything. Some out of work clothing. It wasn't that bad. I was quite happy to get out, in a sense. He's so convinced that we're going to get married that it's unreal. He didn't fully realize how amazing I am and how lucky he was until after we broke up. I told him the entire time, I wasn't fucking lying. Well, now he knows. But I'm already gone. Moved in with my boo. Well, again, my clothes. And I have keys. That makes it official in my eyes.
She lives in an apartment, though, so I have to pay to do my laundry. Wtf? I should have done it one last time before I moved (my clothes) out. Now I have a load that needs to be washed. I'm small, so a lot of my clothes can be done all together. Yay!

I have barely talked to L all week. He knows that I was planning on moving out this week. Am I not interesting to him anymore since I'm out? It's possible. But we had great sex on the weekend.
I was Facebook stalking him yesterday (yes, I stalk people on facebook, who doesn't? That's what it's there for, shut up), and I noticed that the people he was partying with on Friday become friends with him.... And I went to middle school with one of them. Oh my goodness. Good thing she doesn't know we're friends. Good thing WE weren't friends in middle school, so she probably doesn't even know me. Oh fuck, how weird that is. I really hope that he doesn't start dating anyone. I really hope that he's not fucking other people while we're fucking. That's just dirty.

I don't want to be in a relationship, but I don't want whoever I'm diddling to be diddling a bunch of other people. That's how diseases get spread, you know? I'm not used to this whole fucking random people thing. I'm only used to having sex with someone after being in a relationship for a few months. But after having long-term relationships one after the other, I'm used to sex all the time. L has been my "rebound" guy for 3 guys. After I break up with a guy, I just go back to L. I get sex, I get happy. I realized today that I need to have sex at least once a week or else I get cranky. And diddling myself just doesn't do it. I need the real deal.

Talking about it makes me want it more. Maybe I'll call up L.

I can't wait until my boo and I move out, and I have my own bedroom. My own bed. I can diddle people in my own home and kick them out. Oh fuck yeah.

It's N's birthday party this weekend. Her boyfriend, her sister and I are planning a big surprise: while we're pre-drinking at the hotel party, I'm jumping out of the cake! Whoopie!