Hurt

Today was like any other day. Got up, got ready, went to work. But I wasn't as annoyed with my co-workers as I have been for the past while. I thought that I was perking up, that I was coming out of my 'bleh' phase and I was going to be back to my usual chipper self.

So as I was sitting at my desk, in between working, I decided to look up the costs for flights to Las Vegas, since Boo told me that we were going to be going with her brother and his friends in June a few weeks back. But when I told her about it, and as we were talking, it was no longer the 'we' that I thought it was. It was turning into an 'I' thing. She said that she was going to have a week in Las Vegas, and then a week with the wife, which is me. So I decided to say, "Maybe I'll take my other week off in April." She just responded with, "So how's your day, boo??". I guess this means that I will not be going to Las Vegas.

That was a big thing that I was looking forward to. I've been wanting to there since I turned 21.

So, that brought me right back to where I was before.

I was talking to Pilot about it, and he thinks that maybe I caught it from him. He's been feeling very 'bleh' lately and we spend a lot of time together, so maybe that's it. I just caught his 'bleh' feeling. As if it's a cold. Some type of virus. Beware of the Bleh Virus! Some say it's deadly! As in you'll kill yourself!

I'm not there, though. I just feel like socking my co-workers every now and then, and I wish my best friend liked to talk more.

Honesty, I never thought that I would be saying something like that. I wish my best friend wanted to talk about feelings more. I talk about my feelings with Pilot more than I do with Boo, who is my boo, my best friend, my wifey. Whenever I talk about things with her, I know that she doesn't care. She doesn't like to talk about people, she likes to talk about movies and music. I've gotten used to it, in a way. But I also feel like a friend of mine (let's call him Vidiot, because that's what he is) who just talks to me about stuff, and he knows that I'm not listening and that I don't care, but he just needs someone to talk to, to vent to. I have become that.

But when I talk about my feelings and junk with Pilot, or even Hermy (his nickname that has stuck, since the night that he was acting like a vagina and I called him out on it, and he said, "Just call me Hermy!" He wasn't too happy the next day), they actually listen and try to cheer me up.

I met this guy on my way back from Yellowknife, we sat beside each other on the plane, and he was really cute. We've been talking on Facebook, and even though he lives kind of far, I'm kind of interested in him. We were talking the other day, and I was feeling a little giddy because I rarely get a guys attention where he's complimenting me these days. Except of course for my guys, but they compliment me on my belches or when I point out a hot chick with a nice rack. As I'm telling Boo about how it made me happy to be getting this kind of attention, she just looked at me with a smirk and said, "Really? Over some guy giving you attention? It's not like that never happens."

But it doesn't. These days, the only attention I get is from L when he decides to message me once a month because he wants sex. Or Vidiot awkwardly calling me 'pretty lady', which I don't know how to respond to. Oh, and there's also Jesus. But we're not telling Boo about Jesus because, well, he's taken her on a few dates, and even though she has no interest in him, I know that she would be none too happy. It's happened before, some guy will talk to me and not her.

One time we were at the bar, and this guy started talking to me, but I tried to get him to talk to Boo all night. And he did, they had a great time, I barely said a word. But at the end of the night, he gave his number to me and not her. I felt bad. But there was nothing I could do, I tried.

All in all, I don't know where I'm going with this post. But I do think that it helped with something.