When I was younger, I thought that I would want children. I think mostly because it was a natural feeling, grow up and start a family.
Then as I got older, I realized that I didn't really have the patience for children. I find them loud and a little annoying. They need constant attention and approval. I like quietness for my reading, and people not talking to me.
I've had my 4 year old niece for the weekend, and it's been going pretty well. She's currently eating her cereal and watching cartoons, which I'm happy with. Only once in a while she needs some attention. But that's just right now. She's still half asleep I'm pretty sure. When she's fully awake, she needs so much attention it's ridiculous. She says my name every 5 minutes. I'm tired of hearing 'aunty', and not being able to smoke in my apartment. I love her, she's like my own child, I've watched her grow, I remember the day she was born, she's my little pumpkin, but I can't wait for her to go home. I'm so tired just from how much energy she has. She's so small, how does she have so much energy!
I took her shopping yesterday, since my darling brother and sister-in-law sent her with one pair of socks, one pair of jeans(full of holes), one set of pajamas. No other shirt to wear for the next two days, just the one she came in.
So I bought her a new pair of jeans that she can grow into a little bit, two t-shirts, one long sleeve shirt, a sweater, and three pairs of socks. As soon as she gets home, they will most likely be ruined because that's what happens. Kids are messy, and my sister-in-law doesn't do anything if something gets stained. I wasn't even sure if she was going to be clean, so I bathed her as soon as she got here on Friday, as well.
She also has a blanket. She loves this blanket with her everything, and she can't sleep without it. I almost puked when I smelled it, it was so disgusting. I washed it as soon as I had a chance.
I love my brother, and I love his children. I just wish that he made more money so that he could care for them more. He does the best he can, and they are happy, so I guess that's all that matters. But they deserve more, in my opinion.
Maybe that's another reason why I don't want to have children. I am in no place to offer one what it needs. They need so much. I don't even have a significant other, and that may be a good start.
But I have a feeling that it's not going to change. I don't want children. That's okay. My brother has children, I can steal his. Or maybe I'll be like my aunt and uncle, who also didn't want children until three or four years ago, now they have a two year old boy and a baby girl that was born yesterday. They are almost forty.
Nothing to worry about now, though. I'm just going to try and have fun with my niece, maybe set her up with some paper and crayons so she'll leave me alone for a bit.
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