Marry You

Once upon a time, I had a best friend. We had been friends for years. The relationship started slowly, we would talk at school and smoke with each other during breaks. Then we started to hang out outside of school. My infatuation with her grew to be more and more, but I thought nothing of it, she was straight. Then we would drink, and she would be all flirty with me, she started getting touchy-feely. We 'dated', if that's what you could call it. We would hold hands and kiss, and people would look at us. I didn't care about them, I just looked up at her. She was so beautiful, such a magnificent person. Or so I thought.

She went away one weekend, she didn't tell me where she went or anything, and I didn't really care. But when she came back, she was in a relationship. She had met this great guy online, and they spent the weekend together, and so they started dating. I was shocked and hurt, but I said nothing about it. I smiled and congratulated her, and life went on, my heart with a little crack in it.

Soon we started seeing each other less and less, and she started seeing him more and more. She went to a different school, which made matters worse, and pretty soon we were only talking the odd time one of us called the other. Until one day when she said to me, "I moved to a different school and got new friends. Maybe you should think about doing the same, I'm not always going to be here whenever you want me to. I have new friends."

That pretty much halted our talking for quite a while. But still, every once in a while, I would try. I just couldn't imagine my life without her completely.

A few months after that, she called me when she was hammered, wandering the unsafe streets of our city, yelling at me, saying that no one was ever there for her, that she had no real friends and she hated everyone. In my head, I was yelling, "I'm always here for you! I've always tried to be there, to be your friend whenever you needed someone, but you pushed me out of your life!" But to her I said, "Wherever you are, come to me. I will pay for your cab ride, just come here." She yelled at me no, she was going home, she was fine and didn't need me, then hung up. I was so worried about her, until the next morning when I talked to her and she had no recollection of talking to me. She had just gotten into a fight with her boyfriend.

Her and I would go through times when we wouldn't talk to each other, but we would usually find ourselves to each other when one of us was going through a break up. When we were about 21, we became really close again. We hung out every chance we could, which was difficult when she ditched me last minute constantly, and we also lived in different cities. But for a year and a half, we were great. Hung out often to drink and party, talked at least three times a day on the phone, we were tight. She was my best friend, and I would do anything for her. I lied for her.

She always encouraged me to lie to my friends to ditch them for her. I tried to do it to the best of my abilities, but I just hated lying so much. It was so difficult for me, it's always been a difficult thing. I hate liars. My parents were liars, and it never made anyone happy. Lying always hurts people. She would tell me the perfect lie to tell to someone, she was so great at lying.

And then I realized that she lied to me all the time. I knew that she lied, she ditched me, she treated me horribly, but one day it just.... clicked. And I was done. A lot of it was because of B, her ex-boyfriend and what came to be a good friend of mine. Over the course of me dealing with my emotions of how I felt about her and being so hurt, he was there for me. Together, we realized a lot about her. We talked a lot, and realized that she lied a lot, and told each of us very personal things.

It's been months since I ended the friendships. Never have I looked back. I know that it was the right thing to do, and she just would have gone on hurting me. She wouldn't have cared either, because she claimed to do everything to protect me, she cared for me so much and never wanted to see me me hurt. But when I looked back, she had hurt me in so many ways, all through the years. She started a crack in my heart, and it just kept going until my heart completely broke. My friends have mended it back together, and I'm great now.

My best friend, Boo, and I decided that we wanted to be married on Facebook. But first we would be engaged, of course, and get 'married' on Valentines Day. But for some dumb reason, Facebook won't let us be engaged to each other. So right now, it just says that I'm engaged. I took the ginger off of my friends list a few months ago, when I ended the friendship. But she just sent me a text, congratulating me on my engagement.

I laughed so hard when I received it, and told my friends. We all had a good laugh about it. And then the laughing stopped for me.

I thought, at one point, that she was my best friend, that she knew me better than anyone in the world. But if she did, if she truly knew me, how could she actually think that I was engaged?