This week just isn't my week. Work isn't going so well, little things are stressing me out and making me generally unhappy, and there's not a whole lot to do. I'm bored; I need a challenge. I need something more fulfilling in my day than having time to read the many blogs that I read and to post blogs. I want to have a career, I'm done with this receptionist job, and dealing with people not coming into the office, and leaving me to deal with their clients that are here for an appointment, because they forgot to call and cancel.
I hate today. I hate this week. I want to go home.
But I don't even really have a home. I'm living with my boo for the moment. All of my clothes are at her house, but all of my stuff (books, other clothes, etc) are at the house with J. Because I still paid the rent, so I get to keep my stuff there. I've been ignoring his texts. I can't deal with him. I can't deal with anything right now. My boo and I are looking for a new place to live, with more space, since she only has a 1 bedroom. But I don't even want to live with her, really. I did at one point. But, I just don't want to. I want to live with N. I want to live in her parts, because it's cheaper there. It's more expensive in boo's parts, and I don't want my rent to go up significantly. That's my booze money, bitch!
I really don't know what I want to do. I know who I want to do (ha ha), but not what I want to do currently. I want everyone to be happy, but the more I try and make everyone happy, the more unhappy I get. I'm not happy with boo. I'm happy with N.
I'm happy by myself. Maybe I'll move in with momma. Save money, move out on my own. Fuck, I'd move in with N.
What about boo? She gave her notice. I need help here. I have no idea what to do.
N said that I need to quit being so nice, and look out for myself as well, make me happy, or else I'm just going to get taken advantage of. I have a headache from so much damn thinking.
Ugh. I'm just getting pulled down so hard, I don't know what to do. I'm not happy.
4 comments:
It's quite the predicament you have here. I find that sometimes it's in simplicity that all the answers lie: do what you want, not what you must; do what you love, not what you have to and first be happy yourself as you can't make others happy if you are not.
That sounded so grown up. Bloody hell.
Thanks for following my blog; looking forward to read about your solution :)
Maybe I'm having another blond moment today, but where do I click to start following your blog?
I'm constantly having blond moments trying to figure all of this out, haha. Isn't there something at the top saying "Follow Blog"? Maybe my blog is trying to be different, and hiding it...
And thanks for the advice. It was very grown up! Good? Non? Okay.
Take it real slow. Fewer decisions that have to be reversed.
Easy now.
Secretia
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