So there's this boy. And then there's this other boy. I have feelings for both. I'm in a relationship with one. I love him. I'm not in a relationship with the other. I like him. I've liked him for awhile. At one point, I thought that I loved him.
My boyfriend has been out of town for the past two weeks. We live together, it's fun. But now that he's been gone for so long, I've seen a glimpse of single life again. I went out, I danced, I drank, I had a great time. Oh, I also had some feelings stirred up again. Whoopiee.
I do love my boyfriend. I love him to pieces. But I sometimes wonder what if. The other one ... He's amazing. He gets me to talk about my problems, he seems to want to know. But is that part of his ploy? To seem like he's the guy that cares so much, but then won't be in a relationship?
My heart is torn. I long to be single, yet I want the closeness of a relationship. I want to go out and have fun, yet my boyfriend doesn't like my friends. I like staying at home with him, but sometimes, I just need to go out and have fun with my friends. The other guy ... I miss being held by him. The last time I was with him, we were laying on the bed on our backs, and he just randomly picked me up, and was cradling me in his arms, while he was still on his back. When I asked him what he was doing, he just plainly said, "I just wanted to hold you."
He makes me feel so special. I don't know why. The way he looks at me is a starter. My friend told me he looks at me with love. You can tell he doesn't want to be anywhere but with me when he looks at me. He looks at me with care.
I just want my boyfriend back so I can sort out my feelings. Most likely when he gets back, everything will be okay again.
But can I forget last weekend?
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